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Jokes

Church fund

A priest announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."

Gorilla rescue service

This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one.

"Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?" the service guy asks. "Boy", is the mans' response. "Oh yeah, I can do it. I'll be right there".

An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick, Chihuahua, shotgun and a pair of hand cuffs. He then gives the man some instructions.

"Now, I'm going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls. When he does, the trained Chihuahua will bite the gorilla's balls off. The gorilla will then cross his hands to protect himself and allow you to put the handcuffs on".

The man asks "What do I do with the shotgun?"

"If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog"